It’s that time of year when many people make resolutions to improve some aspect of their life. While I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, I am a fan of self-improvement, so if you are one of the many who made a resolution, it would be helpful to learn how you might actually keep it, if you want to.
I say “if you want to” because I’m sure many people make resolutions because they think they should, not because they are 100% committed to making the change permanent. I just read a blog post by a writer whose opinion and writing I respect, wherein he wrote “I made a bunch of resolutions like everyone else, most of which I probably won’t keep.” Most would agree that indeed, he probably won’t keep them.
But what about if you are serious about keeping your resolution? What is the best way to approach it? Understand first that change is hard, which is why we are so loathe to commit to it. If we aren’t serious about the change, if we just make the resolution and say to ourselves “I probably won’t keep it,” then we won’t feel like a failure for not keeping it. But we also won’t get the benefit that keeping it would provide.
Understanding that change is not easy implies that some degree of discomfort will be involved. While the willingness and ability to deal with that discomfort are certainly important gauges of success in the endeavor, they’re not the only ones. If they were, willpower would be all that was necessary for success.
While willpower is often a vital component, by itself, it usually falls short. That is because willpower is not an unlimited resource, as using it will deplete its immediate reserve. But, just like a muscle, using it can also build it up.
I believe that to successfully keep the resolution, we must put ourselves in a position to succeed. For example, if your resolution is to go to the gym x times per week, putting yourself in a position to succeed might entail enlisting someone with the same goal to do it together, thereby keeping each other accountable. To me, that seems like it has a better chance to succeed than relying on willpower on a January morning when the wind is howling and the temperature is in the single digits.
Just like the athletic coach must put his players in a position to succeed and just like the corporate manager must put her charges in a position to succeed, so we too must do the same for ourselves. That, combined with a willingness and ability to deal with discomfort, will provide a good chance at effectuating permanent change no matter what the endeavor.
And if you find yourself wavering on your commitment, remember the words of the Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus who said “It is difficulties that show what men are.”