It has been estimated that the self-help industry exceeds $10 billion. That’s an awful lot of money spent trying to improve ourselves. But just what are we trying to accomplish with all that spending? Boiled down to its essence, the ultimate aim of all self-help is to make us feel better about ourselves.
Fortunately, it is known what makes us feel better about ourselves; our thoughts. How we think determines how we feel. Think back to the last time you were ecstatic (hopefully, it wasn’t too long ago). The reason you were ecstatic was the thoughts you were thinking at that time. While there may have been some event that stimulated those thoughts, it was the thoughts that produced the exhilaration.
So to the extent we can control our thinking, we can control our feelings. For many, that is easier said than done. Since thinking is not taught in school, we are left to figure it out on our own. I have found Edward deBono’s writings to be very helpful in this area.
Our actions also influence our thoughts. To the extent our actions are congruent with our self-image, they will generate positive thoughts. For most of us, that means that committing a random act of kindness, or any selfless act, will make us feel good about ourselves.
The purchase of life insurance is normally a selfless act. Sure, there can be living benefits available, but those are usually ancillary reasons for buying it. The primary reason is usually love; the love of someone, some thing or some cause.
Obviously, it is not practical to go out and buy life insurance every time you want to feel good about yourself. But two things in relation to this: one, if you do need it and buy it, you will feel better about yourself. And two, if you don’t need it because you have already addressed it, but take the time to reflect on what you bought and why you bought it, you will also feel better about yourself.
Now there’s nothing magical about the purchase life insurance making you feel better about yourself; any selfless act will usually make you feel better (although no other selfless act is guaranteed to create a lump sum of money upon your demise).
Maybe it’s just me, but I fail to see how walking barefoot over a bed of hot coals provides a greater boost to your self-esteem than performing an act that benefits someone other than yourself. And that’s not to imply that the act can’t provide a residual value to you, it’s just that that can’t be the primary purpose. The Guy In the Glass knows the difference.